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Thursday, January 12, 2012

Beauty Boo-Boo: Nail Polish for Dudes


It's finally happened.  There is now a line of nail polish that is specifically geared towards men.  Needless to say, I'm absolutely horrified.

Alpha Nail (clever name, eh?) claims that wearing the manly polish will attract women and make men look super macho.  There are oodles of ads showing buff guys with gorgeous models draped all over them.  This is ridiculous!!  If I ever saw a guy wearing nail polish, I would most likely punch them in the face, or issue them a hefty Fashion Citation.

To make the polish sound as masculine as possible, each color has a super manly name.  A few of the best ones? Gasoline, Burnin' Rubber, and my personal favorite Cocaine (yes, it is a white hue).

The site claims that the polish is ideal for use in the ring, the pool, and the club. REALLY??!!? Are you kidding me?? I'm pretty sure that if a guy wore nail polish to a club, he'd have a horrible time.  Not only would it freak out the girls, guys would probably kick his ass too.

Here's an example of a beefcake wearing a baby blue shade "in the ring": 


Not really a good look. 

I will say that the pen-esque tube does make application a breeze.  It works very similarly to Nicole by OPI Nic's Sticks. That's pretty much the only good quality the product has.

If for some reason you feel the need to try the polish out on your main squeeze, you can pick up a tube for about $10.  That's right.  It's more expensive than almost every single other nail polish out there. But hey, if you're going to paint your guy's nails, you might as well go all the way, right?