Saturday, August 24, 2013

Fashion Faux Pas: Ugly Printed MC Hammer Pants

I am honestly horrified that these pants even exist. I had to check the website I found them on a few times just to make sure that they weren't a joke.

Alas, the joke is on me, apparently. It seems that MC Hammer pants are officially IN STYLE! Thaaat's right. Unflattering pants that make normal-sized hips look gigantic and ankles look miniature in comparison are the "go to" pants for the season. Oh, and make sure to get them in an ugly pattern! Because that's the way to do it!

I mean, is this for real??!! Is this real life?? Why are these pants allowed to be sold in stores? The designer who made these should be brutally tortured.

The sad thing is that I've been seeing these pants all over the place. From high-end designers (who charge about $1,000 for a pair like this) to stores that I usually love, like Forever 21. It breaks my heart. Really.

Looking at the picture of these "pants"--and I'm using the term loosely--is so ridiculously disturbing. The fact that a model with an amazing body looks like she has, what I like to call, "child-bearing hips", is crazy to me. Any item of clothing that can do something like that should be burned. There should really be some sort of fashion recall for stuff like this.

A good rule to live by in general? If the model wearing the clothing looks like shit, chances are, there is no way that anyone will look good wearing the same thing. Ever.

The one good thing about these disgusting pants is that they do make ankles look tiny. You know...if that's something you're concerned with (hint: no one is!)

At least the pair pictured is only priced at $15.80. But to be honest, someone would have to pay me millions of dollars to even try on something as ugly as these pants.

And, as usual, if I happen to see anyone wearing anything that even slightly resembles these stupid pants, I will punch them in the face. Anyone who wears these should be arrested and have to spend at least a year in some sort of fashion jail.

I'm going to go puke. That is all.

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