Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Fashion Faux Pas: Tapered Jeans

I read somewhere that tapered jeans are God's ugly gift to the world. I can't say that I disagree.

I'm now inspired to write about why tapered jeans are the worst pants in the world. Here's a bit of a lesson for those who aren't as fashion savvy.

If you don't know what tapered jeans are, you might be wearing a pair of them right now. Gasp! The telltale sign of these ridiculous jeans is as follows: the opening at the bottom of the pant leg is smaller than the circumference of the jeans at your knee. Hence the word, "tapered". Here is a picture for those of you who still don't know what I mean.


Photo: zafu.com

Now, this is from a website that is trying to sell the idea of wearing these jeans. But when you look at the model (who must be around a size 6), it becomes apparent that she looks big in the middle. And she is not big. The reason for this is that because the bottom of the pant legs are so small, the hips look HUGE by comparison. Unless you have the body of a 6 year old child, they will not be flattering on you. In addition to this, the wash of the jeans is light which magnifies flaws and makes everything look larger in general. There is not a worse pair of pants in the world to own. Throw them away, if you have a pair, and never look back.

Instead, find yourself a pair of flattering jeans like this:


Photo: people.com

The bottoms flare out a bit (don't worry--I'm not telling you to wear flares). They are called boot-cut jeans. Because they go out a bit at the bottom, this is very balancing for someone who possesses hips. These pants literally make you look two sizes smaller than the other jeans. The dark wash helps too--there is some truth to that whole "wearing black makes you look thin" thing. But not only black accomplishes this. Any heavily saturated color (dark denim, burgundy, navy blue, etc) can do this.

So that is my lesson for the day. Please, please please. Throw out all of your tapered jeans and embrace the idea of looking good!!!

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